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January 24, 2008
In Proverbs 12:4, the Bible says an excellent wife is like a crown to her husband and a shameful one is compared to rotten bones. What could this possibly mean?
‘If a good wife is like a crown, it means that she does not fight and yell all the time,’ says Morgan, age 8. ‘But a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones means that she is always fighting and yelling.’
In Morgan’s interpretation, the husband gets crowned sometimes or all the time. Of course, I’m speaking of the kind of crowning that occurs when flying household objects strike the head. This interpretation calls for boxing headgear worn by the husband at all times.
‘This proverb means to me that a good wife is like God, and the bad wife is like the devil,’ says Josh, 11. ‘A good wife is like God because she makes sure everything is right and good, and makes everyone happy. A bad wife is like the devil because she does not care what you look like when you come out of the house. She also doesn’t care what you eat, and one day, everyone will be unhappy.’
Frankly, I would expect something a little more sinister from a wife who acts like the devil, but I’m not the one wearing wrinkled clothes and eating bad food every day.
‘If you are a good wife to your husband, you would have a crown like a queen, and your husband would be crowned as king,’ says Meghan, 10. ‘But that’s only if you are generous and act nice toward your husband.?
The excellent wife being her husband’s crown relates to his reputation, says Trey, 11: ‘It means that a wife can have a great effect on a husband’s image.’
‘A good wife makes the husband look good,’ adds Andrew, 11. ‘A good wife can keep a family straight in the will of God! A bad wife is like a disease to her husband by not doing what the Lord says to do.’
This idea of a wife enhancing her husband’s reputation is echoed in the famous Proverbs 31 text where it reads, ‘Her husband is known in the gates’ (Proverbs 31:23). Sitting among the elders in the city gates of the ancient world could be equivalent to serving on the city council or a prominent board.
The Hebrew word for ‘excellent’ as in the excellent wife of Proverbs 12:4 is the same word translated ‘virtuous’ as in the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31:10. It’s the same kind of woman in both texts.
‘A good wife honors her husband so that he takes pride in her, just like a crown,’ says Karoline, 11. ‘A disgraceful wife does not bring her husband pride and joy. She only brings problems. It’s not right to divorce her, so the wife needs to act better. We should all try to honor Christ first.’
The Apostle Paul unveiled a mystery about marriage in his New Testament letter to the Ephesians (5:22-33). Christian marriage parallels the union between Christ and his bride, the church. Just as the church is subject to Christ, a wife is to be subject to her husband ‘in everything,’ the text says. Also, the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and ‘gave himself for her.’
Think about this: Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It’s 100/100 percent. A woman can be an excellent wife even if her husband is a pain, and vice versa. Trust God by submitting to him 100 percent without a thought of receiving anything in return, and see what happens.
Memorize this truth: ?An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones? (Proverbs 12:4).
Ask this question: Does your husband wear a crown?
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Carey Kinsolving is a syndicated columnist, producer, author, speaker and website developer. To see Carey’s Kid TV Interviews and more, visit http://www.KidsTalkAboutGod.org/ The Kids Talk About God website contains free, online content for children and families. Print free lessons from the ‘Kids Color Me Bible’ and make your own book. Watch for free the adventures of an 11-year-old girl traveling around the world, visiting missionaries in the Mission Explorers Streaming Video. Print Bible pictures drawn by kids that illustrate Scripture verses. Receive a complimentary, weekly e-mail subscription to our Devotional Bible Lessons. Bible quotations in this column are from the New King James Version.
Copyright 2006 Carey Kinsolving
January 21, 2008
We all know that not all parents are created equal. Some are good parents and some are bad parents. But good and bad parenting are results of both conscious and unconscious choices. Why so? That’s because good parents made it their choice to learn beneficial ways and methods in parenting. Perhaps they have a good upbringing as well. However, does that mean bad parents are bad by their own choice? Nothing can be further from the truth. Bad parents do also feel that they can do better and often times, they too want to be loved and adored by their children. Often times, their inability to make the transition in becoming a better parent is because they feel overwhelmed by their personal situations.
One of the major things that causes bad parenting is bad parenting. I know that sounds a bit odd but read carefully. Imagine a child growing up in a poorly managed family. I don’t mean poor as in destitute but as in poor methods of parenting. Their children will learn to become the parents they so despise. When they are young, they were already being programmed to become the parents they so dislike. Therefore, when they grow up, they too become the clone of their own parents. A total MIRROR IMAGE. Which is why, in some cases, breaking that mirror is simply a must.
Now how do you do that? Well, here are ways to go about breaking that mirror. This is best done before marriage and before deciding to have children. Always ask yourself first. What kind of parent do I want to be? What kind of a leader do I want to be for my child? Do I want he or she to go through some of the unpleasant circumstances I was born into? If I am my child, what kind of family do I want to be born into? With these questions, it will bring light to what sort of a parent you desire to become.
After knowing what you want, it is still impossible to break the mirror as you do not know how to do it. this is the time you consult your 6 best friends on earth. Namely: Why, Who, How, What, When and Where.
For example, if your situation is your own bad temper, then ask the following questions:
1) Why do I want to change and eliminate my bad temper?
2) Who do I seek help from to deal with my temper problems?
3) How can I get the most benefit from the people I seek help from?
4) What techniques should I apply to make myself calm down during a temper?
5) When to apply the best technique for temper control for the best results?
6) Where can I find more resources related to my problem?
With these 6 best friends by your side, you are on your way to breaking that old mirror image of the bad parenting traits your parents may have left in you. You will be able to break free from the ill effects of bad parenting and begin a good and happy family of your own. Of course, anything good requires effort for maintenance. Always remember, your journey to good parenting and break all mirrors will be life long and that you will need to always work closely with your 6 best friends from time to time. Good luck and may you be happy always!
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infohub2006.blogspot.com/
presents you with the (HOW, WHAT and WHO) of good parenting, do visit us for
more info and resources! Remember,
Good Parenting is a choice.
January 10, 2008
The pitfalls of parenting children about to leave the nest can look like a gaping canyon at times. Are they really ready to be launched into the world so soon? Into that apartment or job, school, marriage or whatever it might be? We can not baby proof the world for them no matter how strong the urge. They are taking those first wobbly steps and, this time, we can not be there when they fall, which they will do.
I have experienced the feeling of disappointment with my children. It throws failure smack in your face with a living walking example of our main creation. Its like life held up a mirror and there is a lot of anger and depression that can accompany that reality..
We have this vision of success for our children. A vision of what we hopefully have empowered them to hug close to their hearts. When our children venture ?out? and they appear to have forgotten to bring that vision with them, don?t loose heart..
I believe that the hardest age for any child is when they try and individuate their identity. They have to create that space between themselves and our selves, so they can see who they are. We have to let them do this. No matter how scary or infuriating. No matter what. Unless we want them to live inauthentic painful lives. Sometimes I look at my children and see their amazing gifts talents and potential. I know they will eventually use these gifts to elevate their little corner of the world. In their own time, in their own way. G-d sometimes needs to be in the driver?s seat, even when we don?t like the route He?s taking us on..
The greatest gift I give my children is the clear message that I am a work in progress. That you never stop growing, no matter what. We must live our lives as people as well as parents we will never stop striving to refine and elevate ourselves. Their inheritance is this expectation. What message are you giving your child? What does the mirrors reflection that you hold before his face look like? Don?t waste precious time being bummed out. Just keep shaping it.
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Sharon Shore, CEO Terra Sancta Guild. Find a wide selection of Christian and Inspirational gifts for any occasion. http://www.terrasanctaguild.com
December 15, 2007
Have you ever known a couple that would have made wonderful parents but they were unable to have children on their own? Did you wonder why they did not adopt children? It could have been because adoption is prohibitively expensive. There are though, some organizations out there that are willing to supply couples with grants for just such a purpose. Many though, are not familiar with the availability of these grants.
Adoption grants are a form of financial aid offered to people who want to be parents. These grants are offered by all states to couples and parents who wish to adopt and live with their adopted children. Most of these are only for those adoption cases that happen within the United States but there are a few that are offered for international adoptions as well. Those that handle international adoptions are usually from the private sector.
There are close to one hundred organizations that offer grants for adoption purposes. There are some that have certain restrictions, terms, and conditions to certain children or adoptions. Prospective parents have to be sure that they can meet the guidelines and criteria set by the organization that they are working with. Each set of parents need to be sure that they know what these guidelines are so that they are not met with surprises or disappointments down the line. They also need to know if there are limitations of the grant so they can bring up the slack that the grant may not cover if need be.
Please find below a partial list of possible grant information:
Acres of Hope, Inc.
One of the most recognized not for profit organizations dedicated to providing educational information and support for those families who have children with emotional or physical challenges. Among its services are emotional support, advocacy services, loan programs, and financial assistance for these families. This organization also seeks to promote greater community understanding and support. They also offer grants and other financial aids to make their mission possible.
National Adoption Foundation
This organization does have a few grants to offer but they are quite limited. They do have unsecured to offer through a revolving nine million dollar loan bank that they have. They use this for those families who are thinking or planning to adopt a child but they cannot afford the adoption process costs.
The International Adoption Center
This organization provides grants to those families that qualify for them and want to adopt a child but cannot afford to do so. The grant that the family can receive is believed to be about a thousand dollars per couple. The couple needs to write a letter stating their need for the money. This letter is submitted to the organization along with any other documents that can support their argument that they need the money in order to adopt a child.
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Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Florida. Find more about this as well as http://www.easygovernmentgrants.com Free Government Grants at http://www.easygovernmentgrants.com
December 9, 2007
Most people who know I now homeschool my son often say things to me like ‘I could never do that’ or ‘I’d never have the patience’. However, I don’t think that is really true of most parents who value the role education plays in their child’s life. For the first six years of my son’s formal education, he attended school, yet we both always felt that I remained his ‘first’ teacher.
It starts early in your child’s life, just by pointing out new things for him to notice and explaining concepts he doesn’t quite understand. When you place your toddler on your lap and read from a picture book, you are teaching him not only the fundamentals of reading, but also that learning is pleasurable, cozy, and something to love. Though most of us were always told not to play with our food, there is fun to be had in teaching a child to count the corn kernels on his dish or to add and subtract with his beans.
Even when my son was still in school, we usually spent a half hour before bedtime either reading a story together (taking turns reading aloud) or doing word or logic puzzles together. My experience is that children love competing with their parents. They will also value an activity more if they see their parents participate in it too.
When I was trying to improve my son’s writing skills, we used to hold ‘writing contests’ wherein we either both started with the same sentence and developed a paragraph from it or we chose very incompatible words to be used in a very short story. It was fun to read the finished products aloud and compare the results. While I often wrote the more grammatical story, he frequently was way ahead of me in creativity and imagination.
Never think that just because your child faithfully attends a good school and receives decent grades that you shouldn’t play a special part in his or her education. First, do it because it’s fun. Second, learning together creates a special bond with your child. And, third, no matter how excellent the school your child attends, you can give him personalized attention he cannot possibly get in a group of 20 or 30 other children. Finally, do it for future generations, as your child’s warm memories of learning together with you will one day inspire him to place your grandchild on his lap and pass on what you’ve taught.
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Linda Popolano is a homeschooling mom and an Independent Consultant with BRIGHT MINDS/The Critical Thinking Company at Home. Please visit her website at http://www.inspirethinking.com or e-mail her at inspirethinking@yahoo.com to learn more about BRIGHT MINDS workshops and the BRIGHT MINDS business opportunity.
November 17, 2007
With the recent spate of playground related injuries, parents are starting to become more aware of what is and isn’t safe in an outdoor child toy. The sad thing is, hundreds of thousands of children are still injured each year in toy related incidents. So how can you make sure that your child is safe when he or she plays?
First of all, it’s important to remember that it’s impossible to keep a child completely safe during play, or any time, for that matter. Some bumps, bruises, scrapes and cuts have to be expected on the rocky road to growing up, and little injuries like that are good for children; they give them an idea of the world around them, and teach them what the laws of physics will and will not allow them to do. But with that said, no child should ever be hurt so badly while playing that he or she had to go to the emergency room. And the best way to keep that from happening is to know what’s going on with your child, at all times.
However, it’s equally important, especially with very young or very small children, that they play with toys that are suitable for their age unless you’re right with them. It’s one thing to hold a toddler on a bicycle seat and let him pretend he’s riding it; it’s quite another to let the same toddler clamber over the bicycle while it’s lying on the ground and you’re at the other end of the yard. Just as toast always lands butter side up when it falls, a child left on his own will get hurt if he possibly can. Check for small parts or sharp edges on any toy before you allow your child to play with it without you right over them. Mind you, I’m not saying that you should become a second shadow; if you have more than one kid, you won’t be able to, anyway. I am saying that you should always be close by when your children are playing, and always make sure that the toys they’re playing with won’t be able to hurt them if you should turn your back for a few minutes.
Check labels. Most toys will come with warnings that say ‘3+’ or ‘Not for children under four’. Pay attention to those labels. Heed them. But don’t just assume that because a label says ‘For ages three and up’ and your child is four that the toy is automatically safe. Check for sharp edges. Check for places where curious little hands might get stuck. (The chain and gears on bicycles are particularly bad about that, for example.) Above all, be aware, and use common sense!
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For vital information on all things concerned with outdoor toys visit Outdoor Toys
November 9, 2007
Remember the good ole? days when families sat down at the table and ate dinner together? With this new millennium lives have gotten so busy and frantic, that sitting down together as a family at least several times per week is a luxury. The National Center on Addictions and Substance Abuse (CASA) has declared the fourth Monday of September as Family Day, a day to eat dinner with your kids!
Research finds that the more kids eat dinner with their families the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs. Children tend to be healthier, have positive social skills and perform better in school. Having dinner together as a family provides time to communicate with each, find out what kids did that day in school, and discuss family issues important to everyone.
This year, mark your calendar and plan Family Day on September 25 with your children. Turn off the television, put on the answering machine, and plan a nutritious meal that everyone can participate in making. During dinner, ask children to describe their day at school, what they did after school, and if they have any special activities are coming up. After dinner, play a board game to help kids practice reading and math skills or go outside for a little physical fitness.
Here are some tips to make Family Day a habit that is practiced all year long:
- Include kids in planning a menu for family dinners (lunch or breakfast too)
- Include kids in preparing, serving and cleaning up the meal
- Turn off the television (or anything with a screen) during the meal
- Turn on the answering machine for the phone during the meal
- Let everyone have a turn talking about his or her day and activities
- Plan a game night instead of watching television
- After dinner, take a walk or ride bikes as a family outing
Having family dinner with your children on a regular basis is a special tradition that kids will always remember!
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As a mother, grandmother, and child development professional, Nancy Johnson, shares over 20 years experience working with children and planning activities on her website, Creative-Child-Activity-Notebook.com. Check it out for more school age child activity ideas including party, outdoor, holiday, nature, and child learning activity ideas.
November 2, 2007
We all want our children to do well in school, both academically and
socially. By following the tips below, you can equip your child to perform at
their very best.
1. Proper Rest-It’s tough to do anything well when you’re sleepy. Experts
recommend that kids get between 9 and 10 hours of sleep every night.
Some children may require as many as 11 hours, depending on how active
they are. Ideally, a well-rested child will wake up a few minutes before the
alarm clock sounds.
2.Proper Nutrition-You’ve heard it many times, breakfast is the most
important meal of the day. But what is eaten for breakfast is just as
important. Try to steer clear of sugary cereals. While the sudden boost of
blood sugar levels may initially make your child perky, it won’t be long
before those blood sugar levels plummet, leaving your child feeling
lethargic. Precooked sausages, bagels or toast with peanut butter or a
whole grain cereal and a piece of fruit or juice should keep your child going
until lunch time.
3.Homework Time-Some kids do better when they get their homework
done right after school. For others, immediately after dinner is the best
time. Whatever you decide works best for your child, try to stick with it. A
routine will help your child become more organized and possibly prevent
squabbles about getting the work done.
4.Designate a Study Space-A quiet, well-lit area provides the ideal
environment for homework and studying. Your child will be able to focus on
the task at hand if distractions such as the TV, stereo or siblings are kept to
a minimum. The area should also be convenient for the child to ask for help
if necessary.
5.Communicate With Your Child Daily-Talking with your child about their
day will provide you with insight on what constitutes a normal day for them.
If a problem does arise, you will be more likely to pick up on it on quickly.
General questions such as, ‘How was school?’ are likely to be
answered with a general answer such as, ‘Fine’ or ‘Boring’. Ask detailed
questions such as, ‘What did you learn in math today? Did you think it was
easy or was it difficult?’ Don’t forget to ask questions about their social life,
which can greatly affect their performance in school. Inquiring about they way
they spent their recess time or who they ate lunch with is a good way to start
conversation.
6.Get Involved-Getting involved shows your child that their education is
important to you, which in turn will make it important to them. Most schools
welcome parent volunteers, all you have to do is ask.
7.Extra-Curricular Activities-Activities that take place outside of school
hours can enhance your child’s education by providing them with exercise,
introducing them to the concept of team work and social interaction. Just be
careful not to overdo it-too many activities can interfere with homework
time, sleep time and the all important down time.
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Karen Bianchi is the editor of www.AwesomeMomsNetwork.com, a freelance writer and the mother of four awesome kids. You can contact her at kbianchi@AwesomeMomsNetwork.com
Why is it that we have extreme reactions to certain people?
For example, I know a teenager who managed, on the first day of school this year, to offend at least half of his high school teachers.
His Algebra instructor is especially peeved at the boy, perhaps because his pupil passed a similar class a few years ago, already knows the material, and barely disguises his contempt over having to take substantially the same course again and again.
You would think the kid would be at least minimally political about school, smiling every now and then, giving eye contact to his teachers, and keeping his mouth shut for most of the sessions.
But, alas, this is beyond him, not just because he?s a teenage boy, though I have it on good authority that this biological condition informs much of his apparent madness.
What really irks his instructors, and I suppose most adults he encounters, is the fact that he?s a free spirit.
There, I said it.
He hears the different drummer, literally. As a musician and an artist he hears lots of things that would escape the attention of the average Algebra teacher.
For instance, I doubt very much that this teacher, who is quite knowledgeable in his area, can play piano. Nor do I believe he play violin so well that he tutors others, and is actually considered ?gifted? by those that know him in orchestral contexts.
Numerical wizard as that instructor might be, it?s also unlikely that he can draw or paint like this boy, who just finished a summer scholarship to a university?s advance placement program for talented young artists.
And that, I believe, is why this youth arouses such extreme reactions. It is because he is just that, an artist, and most artists are misunderstood, especially by authority figures whose function it is to socialize them, to normalize them, if you will.
As long as they don?t execute him before he graduates, this kid will make his way in life. I believe he?ll contribute things that are completely unexpected, and occasionally, delightful, even to the prissiest professors.
But he won?t please them by trying. It will occur as an offshoot of being himself, because he?s going to be genuine, the real deal, whether adults, now or later, like it or not.
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Best-selling author of 12 books and more than 800 articles, Dr. Gary S. Goodman is considered a foremost expert in telephone effectiveness, customer service, and sales development. A top-rated speaker, seminar leader, and consultant, his clients extend across the organizational spectrum, from the Fortune 1000 to small businesses. He can be reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.
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