|
Jan Scott - Coaching Kitbag
www.coachingkitbag.co.uk
It’s amazing how some people can project their personality and energy through the medium of the internet - you are one of these people! Angela Dunbar http://www.angeladunbar.co.uk
October 28, 2007
So you?re wondering ? What?s all this hype about coaching? What exactly is it and how can it help me? Great question! The term coaching in general stems from the sporting world. Sports teams and the athletes alike found that in order to bring about the highest degree of performance in a sports team and its individual athletes, they needed to be coached. Coaching in the sports realm has helped in many positive and wonderful ways. In a nut shell it equipped the coach with precise skill sets to help hone in on athletes strengths & identify weaknesses. It allowed the coach to than assess the situation and provide clear cut strategies and solutions to help create greater improvement in all aspects of the athletes. Team applications were also a major benefit to the team as a whole. Decision-making became easier, overall team performance increased and the motivation of all the team?s members involved, catapulted.
Nowadays no sports team would survive without the help and support of a good coach. In the business world, why should it be any different? Coaching is now being recognized as a vital and very powerful business performance tool. Just like sports, business is extremely competitive. There are millions of people who are competing and looking to win over the same customers as you. To be a great success and create the wealth you truly desire, it is imperative that you learn how to create a unique identity for yourself and learn how to effectively differentiate you and your business from the vast competition.
Most of the very same principles that apply to creating a well rounded athlete, also apply to creating a well rounded business, executive and entrepreneur. Like successful athletes, a business person who?s interested in becoming the best of the best, must also hone in on their strengths, have their weaknesses identified and know exactly what they should be doing to bring about their desired results. The business coach will implement business applications which will contribute to your financial benefits, as well as significant intangible benefits. If I were to ask you what you thought were the three things that people wanted most in their lives, what would they be?
They are; more money, more time & more fulfillment.
You probably guessed it, right?
It shouldn?t be surprising to see that most people often desire the same things as you and me. A qualified coach knows precisely how to turn these dreams & desires into very real realities. A good coach will work with you to isolate and overcome obstacles, sets realistic and achievable goals & create action plans that bring about solid & expected results.
What Business Coaching is not:
Business coaching is not the same as business consultancy or training ? In consultancy and training, the client will get answers. Now, you?re thinking, ?that?s what I need!? - Yes, I know, it can be quite alluring to think that a consultant will give you all the answers ? But that?s not how it really works ? These answers are merely the experiences and opinions of the consultant or trainer. Although this may have worked for them and possibly a few others with whom they?ve consulted or trained with, but it will not and cannot work for all.
With a coach, the answers come from you! Now, at first glance, this may not seem to be as attractive, compared to the consultant?s approach, but please stay with me for a moment. Ok, so now you?re saying to yourself, ?Hey, if I already have the answers in me, I wouldn?t need help!? If that?s what you?re thinking, I applaud you for questioning my authority, but think again. The reality of it all is that the answers are in fact already in you ? They are obviously not apparent to you now, but they are certainly there. I?m not talking metaphysics here or even tapping slightly into spirituality. The fact of the matter is this; in your life and in all of your experiences; past, present and future, no one brought or can bring about the correct answers or pave the proper path better than you can!
Yes, we can certainly take someone’s advice, but like gambling, it’s a risk we take ? Sometimes we win and we often lose. The coach?s primary objective however, besides getting you results, is to bring out the correct answers by asking the right questions. Coaching is not telling people what to do although there are times when advice is acceptible; mostly, it is helping them clarify their own vision, while being in control of their own experience. It is helping them evaluate what they are doing now in their business, while making sure to maintain the accuracy of their goals, desires, values and intentions. It gives a client new choices that inevitably leads to change. Coaching helps a client, by breaking beyond mental blocks of what they thought was possible and shows them that almost anything is possible when you have a clear vision (map to success), develop the proper mind set & learn to take the right action on a consistent basis.
Coaching works as a partnership between the coach and the client. It is a level playing field where coach and client are quite able to effortlessly create massive results in the quickest turn-a-round time possible.
So how exactly does the coaching model work?
The coach utilizes powerful tools that help to get to the core of the client. When a client comes to a coach, the client often has a goal in mind ? Sometimes they don?t ? When they do, the coach will ask a client a variety of questions to help bring out the values tied to a particular goal/s. If it?s a new goal the client has, the session may be directed one precise way. There are often times when the coach may encounter a situation, where their client presents them with a very old and warn out goal -One that the client just never seemed to be able to bring to fruition. Under these circumstances, the coach may go in a completely different direction. It may be the direction where the coach uses their skill set of asking empowering questions. By asking well thought out questions, the coach will often uncover something that may have very well been holding this client back from achieving that goal and sometimes many other things.
When a client has no goal in mind, the coach has many wonderful ways of tapping into a client?s dormant creative side. One of the many methods a coach may use, is something called a high energy think tank. A think tank is a well prepared brain storming session, where past experiences and future desires may be used to create new ideas and thought patterns. Its two minds working in synch, working towards a solution, each generating optimum levels of creativity, which often leads to extraordinary results.
How much is a Business Coach?
Like any worthwhile service, the level of quality and the quantity you receive should always exceed the price you pay. Does this mean that business coaching is inexpensive? No! It means that your return on investment is well worth the price you pay. How does a 500% Return On Investment sound? In depth Studies have shown that the Return On Investment that you can expect from being coached even exceeds 500%. This means that a client will, on average, receive more than five times more out of being coached than you paid to be coached.
If you?re ready to seriously experience happiness, success, and abundance, stop letting fear hold you back and hire a Business Coach!
|
James Villepigue
Acclaimed Business Coach, Fitness Expert & National Best Selling Author of 16 books
Take the next step in your career, with the ?5 Steps to Sculpting Your Business Wealthy’.
James Villepigue shares with you, the proven systems that propelled him from a personal trainer to a National Best Selling Author and acclaimed business coach. James has created a highly personalized methodology, with programs that produce proven results for people in all walks of life.
James’ Coaching Programs, take James? proven success principles and combines them with his extensive coaching experience to create an innovative, comprehensive system for achieving and maintaining your business goals. He takes you through a proven step-by-step process to help you create a direct plan of action, execute what it takes to get there, and manage your desired success.
To set up your complimentary coaching session with James, email him at: info@fitnessbusinesscoach.com OR visit his web site at: http://www.fitnessbusinesscoach.com
October 26, 2007
Do you too have the ability to reverse numbers and to jumble the letters in words?
I create ?spoonerisms? on a regular basis. I think my brain is sometimes disconnected from my mouth and so I come away with such statements as, ?Peanut butter me the fridge? which means that the peanut butter is in the fridge?I think! This idiosyncrasy used to frustrate me. Jay, my husband would poke fun at me too. This did not go down well even though I knew his comments were not malicious. I still felt frustration. I resented his harsh words.
Then I read ?Psycho-Cybernetics? by Maxwell Maltz. After reading this excellent book, I pointed out to Jay, that according to Maltz ?one?s subconscious mind does not have a sense of humour?. Jay’s comments even though in jest ? hurt. I suggested that he please refrain from his jibes and banter? He insisted that he was only joking. And then one day Jay listened to my request?. after reading the book himself.
I strongly advise that we learn to live with our friends and family without the use of sarcasm and unkind comments. They can do untold damage. Remember our subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus on the comments ? even if they are not true. Therefore, do not be surprised if they become stupid, fat and useless with money. Do not criticise. Do not complain. As Dale Carnegie said, ‘Be hearty in yours approbation and lavish in your praise.’
Speak kindly and beware of getting ?hung by your tongue!?
For my part, I now accept that my brain and mouth work at different speeds! Fortunately, it is not what we say, but how we say it that actually matters. When we speak,
? 8% of the effect of the communication is in the words which are used
? 32% the tone of the voice
? 60% the attitude
I bear these facts in mind when I feel I am not working at my most coherent. I ?swish? in the statistics and remember that many many people, including the family, say this quirk is one of the things that makes me, me.
It certainly means my audiences have to listen well to understand me at times; however I continue to be a very popular keynote speaker and trainer and get many repeat bookings and referrals. The delegates can obviously identify with me and seem to have a lot of fun.
So never be afraid to be yourself.
As it turns out, my inadequacy or as I prefer to say my ‘idiosyncrasy’, has in fact become my USP ? my unique selling point!
What is your USP?
Why not Google me?…. Eilidh Milnes?.if you wish to engage my coaching or speaking services.
Look forward to hearing from you…
Have fun and watch that tongue!
October 25, 2007
The story of Aladdin is an old Arabic story, with unknown origins. Its first appearance in print was in The Book of One Thousand and One Nights ? a compendium of Arabic, Persian and Indian myths and legends, and the same book that gave us Ali Baba and Sinbad. The name ?Aladdin? is actually ?Ala ad-Din?, and the story probably came from Syria.
The version of Aladdin that was written down in 1709 is largely the one that we know today, although there are a few key differences. Aladdin, a poor young man, is sent by a sorcerer to get a magic lamp from a cave ? but isn?t told that it?s protected by a curse. Angry at the lie, Aladdin keeps the lamp, and finds that a genie lives inside who can grant him wishes. He uses this power selfishly, to become rich and marry a princess, but his new wife, not knowing the lamp?s power, gives it away to the sorcerer.
When the sorcerer uses his new power to take Aladdin?s wife and riches, Aladdin is reduced to nothing. However, he still has a ring that the sorcerer gave him before he went in the cave, and the ring is capable of summoning another, less powerful genie. With this new genie?s help, Aladdin defeats the sorcerer.
As you can see, the start is familiar, but the ending is probably quite different to what you?ve heard. There are other elements that are left out entirely from modern re-tellings ? Aladdin is cheated by a Jew and then helped by a Muslim at one point, for example, which is now seen as incredibly anti-semitic.
Regardless, the overall meaning of the story is clear. When Aladdin uses the lamp to get riches and marry the princess for the first time, he has not truly earned them. It is only once he has been through a struggle and proven his worth that he can be entitled to his new position.
|
John Gibb is the owner of aladdin data
, For more information on aladdin check out http://www.aladdin-resources4u.info
October 13, 2007
My favorite phrase is: If you?re looking for drama, don?t look here.
While many of us relate to that, we also tend to spend much time complaining about all the drama that friends or co-workers create. What is really behind the drama, though and how are you actually contributing to it?
As human beings we are naturally drawn to drama, whether it?s on reality shows, stories from our own life, or even better, other peoples? lives. There is nothing quite like the excitement of hearing a story about someone else that leaves you with that feeling of: ?No way!? Yet more important than what you feel when you hear it, is what you do with that story once it?s told.
Are you upset after hearing an over-dramatized story or doesn?t it affect you at all? If you?re capable of walking away without it on your back, then good for you, but if you end up sharing it with others, then this may be why there is so much drama in your life.
Everyone has a life that can be told as a real-life drama. No matter how simple or complicated, if you pull each event in your life apart, you could no doubt write an impressive story about it. But so what?
The point is that we all have drama in our life due to the constant elements of surprise. It?s not our life that creates the drama, though, it is merely our speaking about our life that creates the drama.
Here?s example #1:
What a horrible day at work! Due to the heat, the power went out and we almost lost all of our data from our computer system! This story could then lead to all the other things that could have happened. Oh, the drama!
That does sound like a horrible story, at least when told that way, yet what if it were told it a different way?
Example #2:
Man, were we lucky today! When our power went out, the computers went down too, but somehow came back on without any damage! Not much drama to add to that story and whoever is listening, doesn?t feel like your upset has been dumped on them. In fact, they may even feel relieved.
If you?ve had enough of all the drama, then try these simple techniques to lesson the drama in your life and those around you:
1- Listen to the story like it is just that. A story.
2- Be aware that the story most likely does not affect anything about you.
3- Try to help your dramatic friend by focusing on the positive. Wow, that sounds like a rough day, but I?m glad you are okay.
4- Listen carefully, without adding anything to the story.
5- Try to change the subject once the main idea of the story has been told.
6- Take a deep breath when you walk away and be mindful of the fact that you don?t need to take it with you.
7- Remember that the story only lives in your speaking, so if you don?t speak about it, it has no room for growth.
In the long run, you will see that perhaps drama has always found you, because of how you react to the drama that comes your way. Once you realize the drama is simply someone sharing their story, there will be less drama in your life.
|
Lesley Moore is President and Owner of LifeScope, Life and Executive Coaching. She is also a co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. She specializes in working with individuals in transition, empowering them to create a life they love and with professionals to help them bridge the gap between expectation and performance. She is also a Personal Fitness Trainer and a Freelance Writer. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in Journalism and has studied coaching through the Mentor Coach Program, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. For more information about Life and Executive Coaching, visit her website at http://www.LifeScopeCoach.com or e-mail her at lessmore4@comcast.net.
September 30, 2007
The history of Life Coaching is quite diverse, however a lot of the concepts and principles used in Life Coaching can be correlated back to humanistic psychology that has its foundations from Carl Rogers’ and Abraham Maslow’s theories on higher human values, self-development and self-understanding. It is important for coaches to have a comprehensive understanding of the theories, strategies and techniques that can be drawn from to assist clients achieve their personal best. Some of the theories that provide the backbone for many coaching approaches are: the GROW Model, Reality Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Following is an overview of each of these theories and techniques:
GROW Model - An effective technique which can be used by coaches to structure their coaching conversations. The GROW model provides focus and direction to coaching sessions and is useful in increasing client awareness and accountability. The letters GROW form the acronym for: Goal, Reality, Options and Way forward.
Reality Therapy - Based on choice theory, this therapy holds that the underlying problem of all clients is the same: they are either involved in a present unsatisfying situation or simply not where they want to be. If this therapy is to be successful, the coach must guide the client to a satisfying situation and literally teach the client to behave in more effective ways than he/she is presently behaving.
Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) - The SFT focuses on the unsatisfactory situation, rephrases it, presents alternative possibilities, develops goals and then develops an action plan to meet these goals. This type of therapy is based on the belief that answers reside in the individual’s own repertoire of skills and is always framed within a context of human competency and our ability to change and adapt.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) - A technique rather than a therapy, NLP is the study of what works in thinking, language and behaviour. It is used as a coaching intervention to enhance learning abilities, set goals, improve relationships and manage thoughts and emotions more effectively.
|
Simon Clarke has over 15 years of experience as a writer, entrepreneur and business specialist. He is also the founder and Director of the Life Coaching Institute, Australia’s leading coach training organization.
Become a Life Coach.
Coach IQ: for Intelligent Coaches.
Broadcast Your Brand with Coach Radio.
On most occasions, individuals that seek out coaching possess a demeanour that is conducive to a successful coaching relationship. However, every now and again coaches are presented with some challenging situations. It may be that a client has no idea of what they want or that they find it difficult to follow a plan or that they are simply unwilling to change.
The top five challenges that we believe coaches are likely to face are:
#1: A Lack of Commitment
Some people find it extremely difficult to commit to a cause, whether it has to do with work or life in general. One of the most effective strategies to encourage commitment is to build an individual’s drive and motivation. If a client finds meaning and purpose in what they’re doing, they’ll be motivated and willing to put in the hard yards to achieve their goal. A coach could assist a client achieve that drive and motivation by having the client draw a self-image that reflects the positive outcome of their coaching relationship.
#2: Procrastination
Procrastination is a common problem that can be a major stumbling block for many people. One of the best ways individuals can work around this stumbling block is to break their goal down into manageable sizes - mini goals. They should then create a timeline that clearly states when their mini goals should be achieved. This is a great strategy for coaching clients to see the rewards that can be gained from disciplined actions and self control. After all, discipline is always required to achieve goals of substance.
#3: Poor Communication Skills
Poor communication skills can put both the client and coach in strife. How is a coach supposed to assist someone if they don’t understand what they want? It’s extremely important that a coach knows what their client wants, and therefore vital that they’re well equipped with communications skills that can counteract whatever skills a client may be lacking.
A coach can improve communication with clients by rephrasing what has been said and having them confirm that it was in fact what they meant. A coach could also improve client communication by encouraging feedback in every step of the way and by stimulating insights, opinions and ideas.
A coach with good communication skills will also be able to recognise what communication styles work best with their client and deliver their messages in a clear, concise manner that resonates with their client.
#4: Lack of Direction
When a client has little idea of what they want to achieve it can be quite challenging for a coach to assist a client discover what they want out of their coaching relationship. In these circumstances helping a client to identify their personal values, preferences, needs and vocational skills is particularly important, as it will assist them to form a Purpose Statement which will give them a heightened perspective of where they are now and a direction to work towards with their coach.
#5: Lack of Pro-action
On occasion clients perceive a coach will be able to assist them without having to do anything themselves. They expect to get to their desired destination with very little effort on their part. This mentality can be extremely challenging for a coach so it’s very important that the coach stresses what their role is at the start of all coaching relationships. It’s also important to clarify your expectations of the client as well as what assistance can be given.
|
Simon Clarke has over 15 years of experience as a writer, entrepreneur and business specialist. He is also the founder and Director of the Life Coaching Institute, Australia’s leading coach training organization.
Become a Life Coach.
Coach IQ: for Intelligent Coaches.
Broadcast Your Brand with Coach Radio.
September 23, 2007
The Holy Grail of coaching often seems to be ‘a full practice’ - many coaches make a living coaching coaches in ways to achieve this. (Will our profession eat itself, I occasionally wonder - somewhat wryly, I should add, given that a good 50% of my clients are coaches.)
What does that mean then, ‘a full practice’? Is that 5 days a week, 7 clients a day, 46 weeks a year? using that kind of rule of thumb and imaging an income of say ?60 a session, wayhay! that’s almost ?100K a year! Yes, I did those sums when I was doing my training, and yes my greedy little eyes lit up. Then I did the other sum, the one that told me that if I was coaching 35 clients a week I’d need to attract around 140 a year - and the penny dropped that I’d need to spend rather a lot of time MARKETING my practice. And anyway, I didn’t want to work 5 days a week; oh yes, and then I discovered that coaching 7 clients a day was impossible, exhausting for me and not at all effective for several of those clients.
So, what does ‘a full practice’ mean to me? It mean that I work for 4 days a week. One of those days is spent developing my practice, marketing and growing my business, developing new strands etc. I coach for three days a week and have 3 early evening slots (no appointments starting after 7 p.m. is the policy for new clients starting in 2006).
It seems to me that if you’re going to make a living you’ve either got to up your fees a great deal, or create new strands of income. Perhaps both.
Right now I’m working on an eprogramme and a subscription website. Coming up is an affiliate marketing programme and well, lots more. This for me is what makes our world very exciting - constantly striving to find new ways to give fantastic value to clients and subscribers whilst gathering an income.
I’ll always coach clients one-to-one; I love to do so, but I recognise that to do a creative piece of work once e.g. write an eprogramme, and then allow it to draw in an income for years - now that’s a great use of my time. So when you’re defining what it is precisely that you want from your coaching practice, perhaps you needn’t get hooked on ‘a full practice’ but rather look at all the ways you can use your creativity, skills and experience to build what Judith Morgan, my fabulous business coach,calls a ‘Business to Love’. A practice that is indeed full - full of variety and full of ways that allow you to earn money when you’re asleep, or on holiday.
|
Jan Scott - Coaching Kitbag
http://www.coachingkitbag.co.uk
It’s amazing how some people can project their personality and energy through the medium of the internet - you are one of these people! Angela Dunbar http://www.angeladunbar.co.uk
September 13, 2007
Stop for a moment and ask yourself ‘Whose advice have I been listening to? Has it helped? Where can I get the most helpful information and feedback?’ Doesn’t it seem like everywhere you turn someone is willing to tell you how to get rid of your problems…whether they know what they’re talking about or not? The danger is when you start to listen to it. You’ll usually find that your advisor/critics rarely, if ever, follow their own advice.
I was recently watching the NY Yankees play the NY Mets, when a commercial came on that starred Mike Piazza, who at that time was the catcher for the Mets. He was having a rough season. In the commercial, Mike is standing on the street when a guy in a truck asks him, ‘How deep is right field?’ Mike says, ‘About 330 feet.’ Then the guy asks, ‘How deep is center field?’ Mike says, ‘About 410 feet.’ So the guy says to Mike, ‘Hit it to right field!’ The game announcers remarked that those kinds of interactions happen all the time between players and fans.
Here’s an important question: Who are you listening to? Do you take advice and criticism from people who have no business giving it out? Is it usually helpful?
Now don’t get me wrong. Criticism delivered properly is healthy, course correcting feedback… if you seek to learn. Too often though, critics have other agendas. And they couldn’t take their own advice if their lives depended on it. The problem with hearing unwanted or unwarranted criticism is that it often isn’t put in a constructive way, so instead of getting, ‘You know I read that walking just 20-30 minutes a day can help you lose x # of pounds. Have you tried that?’ you usually hear, ‘You are fat. You better start exercising.’ This from a person who probably only puts on a pair of sweat pants to sleep in.
Here are a few bad examples of well meaning but potentially costly advice:
- You should get into XYZ stock. It’s been climbing for a year.
- I take Supercalifragilistic weight loss pills and I lost 13 pounds. You ought to try it, too. A doctor made it.
- I quit smoking cold turkey. That’s the only way that works.
- Don’t let it get to you. What you need is a drink.
- Vegetarian? How do you get protein? You have to eat meat.
When I was failing at selling, everyone had advice. The trouble was, the people giving it were the furthest thing from professionals. So in addition to reading books, listening to tapes and going to seminars, I set up an evaluation system that told me with absolute accuracy if I was doing a good job that day. I graded my performance each day on about 30 different factors. Everything from number of calls, how I greeted someone, my facial expressions, question structure, listening with empathy, to concern for their problems instead of mine, answering questions, building value, etc. It was an extremely thorough, honest assessment. After each appointment, I pulled out my sheet and filled in the grades for each factor. It took 1-2 minutes, and was brutally honest at telling me where I needed to improve. Many salespeople who knew me asked me how I turned it all around so fast. I didn’t offer it. They asked first. When I’d tell them what I did, they couldn’t believe something so simple could work so well. And every single one of those salespeople continued on their mediocre ways. Many left the sales profession all together.
Imagine that. They had a world record holder willing to share a critical idea, yet they continued listening to their equally inept co-workers instead. Very few people want constructive criticism, even if it’s just from themselves.
So I have two tiny little suggestions…One, don’t give advice. People don’t want it. They don’t use it. And they’ll get sick of hearing it. If you must, be a sounding board instead. When people hear themselves out loud, they often get the answer they were looking for without outside advice. It’s hard enough to change yourself. Changing others is fifty times more difficult.
And two, don’t let critics ruin your mood. Not even for a minute. If someone comes along and gives you their two cents and you find yourself feeling powerless, make a mental note, ‘This is what I get when I let just anyone mess with my esteem and confidence.’ Listen to yourself and to people who have overcome the same challenges that you’re working on. That’s it. Talk to people about your challenges, but unless they’ve overcome the same thing, be careful about taking their suggestions.
It could be very costly to your emotional, physical and financial health.
WINNING BELIEFS:
– I seek out advice from the appropriate places
– I check out all options when I make important decisions
– I’m good at evaluating the value of advice
– I’m in solid control of my own self-esteem
– I am honest with myself in areas that need improvement
EMPOWERING QUOTE:
‘Listen to everything a man has to say about what he knows, but don’t let him advise you about what he doesn’t know. And usually he doesn’t know too much about what’s best for you.’ - Barney Balaban
|
What if you had the same minute-by-minute thoughts as the super successful? Mike Brescia has developed the ultimate mental conditioning programs that can help anyone wipe out intense fears and enjoy huge successes in all areas of life.
Mike Brescia is the creator of the world-renowned Think Right Now! Accelerated Success Conditioning Programs. Mike becomes your own personal success coach - guiding, motivating, inspiring, teaching and moving you in a way that only a best friend would. Mike will inspire you to take a hard look at yourself and be accountable for what you are in life, to be dissatisfied with the ‘old you’ and the bad habits, to take action, ready to happily do whatever it takes to win the game of life.
Find descriptions of all his products at www.thinkrightnow.net
September 2, 2007
Are you a perfectionist?
Here?s permission to stop pursuing perfection. Perfectionism is impossible. We?re all imperfect.
Perfectionism leaves a trail of wreckage on our psyches, careers, families and entire self-perceptions. Are you thinking, ‘Why should I change this? What?s wrong with striving for perfection? Isn?t it the best course of action?’
Here?s the perfectionism problem: Perfectionism pushes us to chase the unattainable. Then we chastise ourselves for never achieving our visions of perfection ? sparking a cycle of self-sabotage and procrastination. Along the way, we miss potential opportunities. It?s hard to see clearly when we?re focused on being perfect.
Perfectionism muffles our ability to hear our true dreams and desires. Listening to our inner selves is critical to discovering life purpose, determining career moves and discerning feelings about the relationships in our lives.
Wondering if you?re seeking perfection? These signals may say you are. You:
- Find yourself procrastinating.
- Don?t follow through on commitments.
- Feel stuck (feeling stuck covers a lot of territory, but can signal that perfectionism is an obstacle).
- Are unable to come up with a ‘good’ idea.
- Are challenged to take action.
- Beat yourself up for a ‘transgression’ ? based someone else?s comment or something only you have noticed.
- Have difficulty accepting compliments or giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.
- Make fear or guilt-based decisions.
Oh sure, there are moments that feel perfect ? often known as peak experiences. At these times, we?re at our best, ‘in the zone,’ experiencing peace or amazement as our labors bear fruit. Perfectionism and a perfect moment are different. Peak moments and experiences are not born of fear. They result from passion, joy, perseverance and a strong belief in yourself. Perfectionism, meanwhile, roots itself in the basic belief that we?re never good enough.
Perfectionism holds us back with a fear that we are inadequate, not enough and somehow so flawed that we must reach for more. Fear cracks its whip and we call back, ‘How high should I jump? Just tell me what to do and I?ll do it.’
Don?t confuse perfectionism with excellence. Pursuing excellence includes an understanding that taking actions may also mean losing, failing and generally messing up. People who excel (versus those who strive for perfection) accept that they will make mistakes ? and they learn from them. They?ll examine a mistake objectively and ask themselves, ‘What could I differently or better next time?’
Perfectionism can be subtle. It?s often ironic ? the quest for perfectionism makes us less perfect. We hold back and get less of what we want. True ? sometimes we make fewer mistakes, but these fewer mistakes come at a great cost. Isn?t holding ourselves back from doing and saying what we want the biggest mistake of all?
So starting today, let?s vow to give up the pursuit of perfectionism. We?re imperfect ? always have been and always will be. Life is messy ? always has been and always will be.
So? Go have fun, do what you want, be yourself. Really. What have you got to lose?
|
Claudette Rowley is a professional coach, speaker and author who helps savvy professionals like you identify their true purpose and calling and mobilize the courage to pursue it. Sign up for her free monthly ezine ‘Insights for the Savvy’ at www.metavoice.org or contact her directly at info@metavoice.org.
Newer Posts »
| | | | | | | | | |