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November 1, 2007
Here’s an easy way to start to put your own needs first. ‘Hang on a minute’, I hear you say, ‘that sounds really selfish’. I confess this is how many clients greet my suggestion that their needs might benefit from being placed a little higher up the list, and this is how I respond: when you travel by air the first thing that happens is the safety talk by the cabin crew. They show you where the oxygen mask is housed and how to fit it. Then they always say, ‘fit your mask first, before you look after others’.
If you don’t look after yourself you’ll have no resources left to care for those you love. This technique is one way to make a start at improving the way you and others view and use your kindness and generosity.
Do you find it easier just to say ‘yes’ to people when they ask you to do stuff? After all, if you say ‘no’ they may stop liking you? Many of us share a fear of rejection - say ‘yes’ and you’ll be included, part of the group. Do stuff for people and they’ll love you. Ah yes, but what about what’s going on inside? The resentment, the resignation, the ‘I wish I didn’t have to do this’, the sense that people walk all over you.
Do you feel loved? Are you included? What is the overall impact? Do you ever wish you could say ‘no’?
It’s a tough one isn’t it? But what I found, and what so many of the people I work with have discovered over the past 13 years, is that knowing what you want to do and saying ‘no’ when you mean ‘no’ has, in fact, a positive impact on friendships, family relationships etc.
First of all, amazingly, they don’t ostracise you and then, even more amazingly, you get an extra gift: they respect you more!
So, how to transform your responses - well here’s a tip for starters. A safe way to move a tiny way outside of your ‘yes, of course’, resentful, deeply uncomfortable, comfort zone: First of all, knowing what you want isn’t necessarily that easy, is it? Not as an immediate decision. When someone asks you to do something you may not be really sure what you want to do, so you might say ‘yes’ as a knee-jerk reaction, rather than cause offence. One powerful way forward is to say ‘maybe’ - as in ‘I need time to think about it’, ‘I must check my diary’, ‘It doesn’t sound like my thing, but I’ll give it some thought’. This way you buy yourself some time to really think it through and you also plant an expectation that you may not fall on the floor and do your world famous doormat impression!
Having given yourself a bit of time you then have to carry it through. What DO you want? Are you being offered an opportunity to do something great, something you’d love to get involved in? Or is it something that makes pulling off your own head and eating it seem appealing? If the former, it’s fairly obvious what you do ‘Thank you for asking me, I’ve thought about it and I’d be delighted to help out this time’ (see how you’re planting the idea that maybe next time you won’t be able to do it?) or, if it’s a thumbs down, ‘I’ve given it some thought and I’ve decided to say ‘no’ this time’. No further explanation is required, though you may have to repeat yourself a few times (it’s called ‘broken record’ - a very useful assertiveness technique).
By being calm, warm, friendly and firm you can do it. Please don’t go down the invented excuses route, be sure your white lies will find you out. This technique works and it is a first step on the journey towards knowing precisely what you want and then acting on your decision instantly whan a request is made.
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Jan Scott - life coaching options
www.thelifecoachforyou.co.uk
Life Coaching has been the most significant event in my life for many years. You have delivered everything I hoped for when I first read your website. RR, Oxon
October 30, 2007
When was the last time that you were really happy? If you had to think about that for more than a couple of heartbeats, the real answer is ? probably too long.
Okay, here?s some news ? the happiness industry is big business these days. A close reading of the media will shake out any number of articles on happiness ? national surveys, new books, television, radio segments, internet articles and more.
Why the resurgence of interest in a condition that we should all enjoy? I think there are two key reasons ? the war on terror and our lifestyles.
Let?s categorise them as the external and internal conditions. The media has us shaking in our boots with apocalyptic visions as to where we are headed in this global war on terror. How can anyone have any confidence in the future when it seems like terrorists are impatiently developing dirty bombs, biological agents and other terrors to unleash on us? Not exactly the conditions for a lasting state of happiness, are they? Even when we can temporarily cast aside those fears, then we have others closer to home. How do I pay all those bills on what I earn? How come I don?t see my old friends as much any more? Why I am putting on all this weight and feeling really bad?
If any of those prompts strike a chord with you, chances are there?s one simple diagnosis: You, my friend, are way out of balance. If you are stressed, I urge you to reflect on where you are focusing your energies. I?d be prepared to bet that one area of your life is getting more attention than the others ? and you are suffering for it.
The subject of happiness fascinates me, as a writer. It is the holy grail of the human condition. Who wouldn?t want to exist in a state of happiness for as long as possible? After a lot of research I?m not sure that is possible or even desirable, but it is possible to lead a balanced life which creates the best conditions for sustained happiness.
I believe that there are seven dimensions to the human personality and that the ?nurturing? of each of them provides for a level of harmony. They are the: spiritual, emotional, physical, creative, intellectual, vocational and material. Any of our daily thoughts or actions will fit into one of these categories. How does it work? Take, for example, the corporate workaholic who spends from dawn to midnight in the office on a regular basis. That may be okay for a short while, but over time health and relationships are going to head into a tailspin. As this situation progresses our exec will become increasingly stressed, confused and agitated.
The solution is simple: Take time out, become acquainted with the Seven Intelligences and begin to practice them on a daily basis. Within 60-90 days you will have developed a powerful set of new habits that will have contributed to a new sense of well-being and confidence - putting you on track to achieve the goals you have set in all areas of your life.
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Ray Sparvell has been a professional writer for more than 25 years. He is experienced as journalist, editor and copywriter. Ray has awards for film and short fiction. http://www.bonsaiofbalance.com
October 28, 2007
Are you feeling sad lately? Unfulfilled and dissatisfied with life?
What is it that is causing this epidemic of discontent among middle age, medium income women? In a fast paced society of today along with a boat load of choices come more stresses. It seems that while the generations before us spent their lives trying to attain their dreams we have attained our dreams at a much earlier stage in the game. The problem is we have skipped the step of living the dream and jumped to expanding upon it.
How many of us have purchased and lived in not 1 home but 2 or more? And cars - How many new cars have you purchased in your lifetime. We are more fortunate and more overwhelmed than our parents ever where. Unlike previous generations that took a lifetime to attain their dreams we are attaining our dreams by leaps and bounds. The thing is no one ever told us what to do next. Being the greedy, fast paced society that we are - we forgot to stop at living the dream and enjoying our fortunate lives and went straight into expanding our dreams. We have the house. What about getting a bigger house or a summer house? Now that we have a car what about a second or third? We have turned into a generation of spoiled adults with way too many choices.
How can we fix this? Well, we simply have to stop. Stop expanding upon things that may not even satisfy us to begin with. We are at a new frontier. Before running in and developing it lets take a look around and set some rules for our new frontier. Take time to determine what makes us happy in our new place and accomplish it!
For most of us we are running at such a fast pace that we may not even notice how out of balance we really are. For those of us that for one reason or another (Divorce, Death of close family member, Health Issues) have had to slow down and get off the roller coaster called life - We discovered that this just cannot be it! We want more out of life. This realization or need to experience life comes in all forms. It can be as easy as planning a getaway with the girls. For others this realization comes in the form of a new career, move across country or spiritual awakening. Whatever the change it will take some stillness to realize it. So be still and let your inner voice guide you to your life of purpose and passion.
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The author, Erica Shrader, is the CEO and Founder of http://www.InHerShoesOnline.com and http://www.SavvySistersClub.com, two online communities geared towards inspiring women to enjoy life and grow their businesses. She also runs a Handcraft Bath and Body Company called Berkshire Butter Company.
October 21, 2007
I have noticed on my journey that most self help books aim at sorting out your financial problems. I have found from mentoring that money has very little to do with happiness, if you are not in control. We can look at someone who scrimps and scrapes all their life to end up with money and then does not have the ability to spend and enjoy it. We can also look at the guy who works at the expense of having a good family life and hands out money to make things OK.[ He thinks]
CROZ QUOTE..
‘The busy man thinks that happiness will come to him in the future, the clever man knows that it can only be found now. To work and ignore family and friends, hoping that the money earned now, will somehow mend relationships in the future is pure folly.’
It really is all a matter of balance. I feel that you can liken money to water, if it is flowing it is always clean and clear, but if you stop the flow it becomes stagnant. You cannot give without receiving therefore loosen up a bit and give serious consideration to your finances. My philosophy is that if we obtain HAPPINESS through these amazing laws, money and success will follow. The great thing then, is that when you do obtain your financial successes, you are in a position to cope.
CROZ QUOTE
‘Success alone will not bring happiness, but happiness will always bring success!’
How many people win the lotto and all it brings them is unhappiness? The reason for this is that their mindset has not been prepared for this situation, so in ignorance they just do what they have always done, but with larger amounts of money. There is no one to help them, I do believe that they give you a financial adviser, but that is no use if your mindset is not correct. You just become a poor person with money. Ultimately you are in control and you can override any advice, and in line with your spending habits up to that point, you will only amplify any problems. I hope this will be some help towards finding your individual happiness. The best part about all this is that if you are happy, you will by the law of attraction, only attract like minded people and this then compounds your happy state.
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Croz is a mentor and public speaker. He specialises in de stress programmes. More info can be obtained on his website http://www.croz.com.au
October 14, 2007
Gayatri Mantra is supreme amongst all Mantras because it bestows its devotees with a pure and focused intellect. According to Chandogya Upanishad, this entire cosmos is Gayatri-manifest. According to India?s great philosopher Adi Shankaracharya Gayatri is a direct manifestation of non-dual (Advaita) Brahman (God or cosmic consciousness). Any spiritual aspirant who understands and imbibes the deep imports of Gayatri meditation/devotion ?conquers? the entire cosmos (refer to Brihadaranyak Upanishad). When a pure minded devotee performs Gayatri worship and devotion he/she not only attains God/Self Realization but also all material and spiritual means required for attaining world peace and brotherhood. Our revered Gurudeva (author of this e-book) executed Gayatri worship throughout his holy sojourn on earth. Hence not only did he himself attain Self Realization but that by spreading this sacred message of Gayatri devotion to every household filled the psyches of innumerable followers with experiences of miracles of Gayatri worship. This e-book throws light on what one can attain both materially and spiritually via Gayatri meditation and worship.
This e-book will deal with scriptural proofs with reference to miracles experienced by Gayatri devotees and certain mythological stories will also be detailed with the same aim in mind. Our revered Guru Shriram Sharmaji writes: For a fair length of time I have tried to spread the message of Gayatri devotion and thus I have come in direct contact with many spiritual aspirants. Thousands of devotees have been guided and inspired to walk on this holy path by me. Amongst these those who have made effort steadfastly have experienced amazing divine miracles. They all look upon these divine attainments as blessings of Divine Mother Gayatri. Gayatri worship is deeply rooted in certain subtle scientific laws and hence it is extremely beneficial both materially and spiritually. It is most required that a spiritual aspirant arms his/her psyche with steadfast devotion and a humble sense of gratefulness for whatever comes his/her way in life. Such a sacred attitude helps devotees to merge their limited psyches into the ocean of divine consciousness called God by laymen. The author humbly has put forth all the miracles associated with Gayatri worship so that people of all walks of life can conclude for themselves whether Gayatri worship indeed is worth imbibing for both material and spiritual prosperity. A point to be noted is that this form of worship is meant for entire world humanity and that it is not restricted to any particular caste, creed, gender, community, religion, nation etc. We humbly request every individual to first read this e-book with an unbiased mind and then feel free to either imbibe or reject this lofty science of Gayatri Meditation.
The author has described incidences in the lives of great saints like Gautam, Dhruva, Mahatma Anand Swami, Kaathiyaavaadee Baba, Sidha Bootywaaley Baba etc which show how Gayatri devotion results in positive fruits with relatively faster speed. The crest jewel of Arya Samaj Swami Anand in his book ?Anand Gayatri Katha? writes that he was a very ordinary mortal before he met his revered Guru but after performing Gayatri Sadhana under his preceptor his life miraculously transformed so as to attain inner divine glory. Swami Anand gives all credit to Gayatri worship for great attainments that came his way in his entire sojourn on earth. Our revered Guru and author of this book, was very closely associated with Swami Anand. Until the very final moments of his life Swami Anand and our author shared a strong bond of sacred friendship. Gayatri devotion is that touchstone (Paaras) which transforms our impure and wayward psyche into divinity for eternity. The proof of this can be seen in the divinely glorious lives of these two great saints.
Gayatri worship and meditation is known to reap many material benefits and this has been experienced by many devotees and aspirants. In order to help a Gayatri devotee ward off dire influences and circumstances the energy that manifests while worshipping Gayatri with a pure mind forms a subtle ?armor? (Kavach) around the devotees body for his/her protection. In this manner very dangerous situations can be overcome by such a devotee with the help of this divine protective shield. Gayatri means that divine power which helps the devotee, attain a strong will power for his/her material and spiritual benefit. Any human being of the world is most welcome to test the greatness and glory of Gayatri devotion and experience the fact that he/she can overcome many obstacles encountered in ones daily life. A devotee of Gayatri can belong to any nation, any religion, any caste, any community etc. Meaning there is no restriction of any sort for performing Gayatri worship. Our revered author says that this world akin to a river full of adversity, pain, hardship etc represented by sharks, crocodiles, scorpions etc can be easily crossed over by sitting in a 4 cornered boat (4 corners are immense patience, valor, sense of right and wrong, hard work) and chanting the Gayatri Mantra with great devotion. If a person who daily faces the wrath of illnesses, loss of wealth, court cases, enmity, joblessness, household strife, difference of opinion, debt etc patiently and unswervingly meditates/worships Gayatri he/she will attain a sacred and focused psyche which will help the devotee overcome all obstacles mentioned above.
In reality Gayatri is 3-fold in nature. In other forms of devotion although Sattva Guna (purity) enhances a good measure of desirable Rajo Guna (activity) also manifests which has a great utility purpose. When Rajo Guna based will power becomes stronger man?s inner latent powers start manifesting which helps create conducive circumstances to combat dire events in the aspirant?s daily life. No doubt Gayatri meditation enhances ones material benefits in ample measure yet this happens only after Gayatri Super Power transforms the tainted psyche of the devotee in a positive manner. A taint-less and transformed psyche oozes with divine magnetism, capacity for apt decision making and an energetic drive full of apt management. A devotee of Goddess Gayatri can never be poverty stricken and live a demeaned life. In order to prove this our revered author has given examples of lives of many great Gayatri devotees.
In the Atharva Veda one finds a vivid description of wonderful attainments due to Gayatri devotion: ?Stutaamayaa varadaa vedamaataa prachodayantaam. Aaayuha praanam prajaam pashum keerti dravinam brahmavarchasam. Mahaam dattvaa brajat brahmalokam.? The meaning of this verse (Shloka) is absolutely true and can be proved by spiritual experiences undergone by steadfast Gayatri worshippers. Vedmaataa Gayatri promises to bless devotees with a healthy body, strong will power, name and fame, wealth, property etc. At the subtle level a true Gayatri devotee attains God Realization. Hence this is a very important and priceless spiritual practice. Today all the world over men/women of all walks of life belonging to different nations, sects, communities, religions, professions etc yearn for wealth, material comforts, success, healthy and radiant progeny etc. Indian scriptures have described the 8-fold Sidhis and 9-fold Nidhis (divine powers and glories). When Gayatri devotee starts maturing spiritually i.e. when his/her psyche starts becoming more focused and taintless (taints are anger, lust, greed, arrogance, lack of ethics/human values etc) all the above mentioned material and divine glories start manifesting in his/her life. It does not matter if one performs Gayatri meditation without any particular material gain in mind yet just as when a boy enters youth and all characteristics of youth start manifesting in his life so too material and spiritual powers automatically manifest in the lives of mature Gayatri devotees without asking or yearning for them. A devotee of Gayatri attains an attractive personality, eyes radiate brilliance, speech becomes powerful and a divine halo/aura surrounds his/her entire body. Such a devotee ceaselessly experiences the presence of a divine force in his/her soul, there is great repentance felt even if he/she thinks of acting untowardly, circumstances of sorrow and strife are faced with intense patience and this devotee can foresee future events. These are a few important attainments that manifest in the lives of mature Gayatri devotees who have not only focused their psyche but have also purified it.
The boons and curses bestowed by a Gayatri devotee do show results and they can easily read the minds of other beings. Not only can such a devotee induce desirable thoughts in the minds of others but can also positively use his/her divine energy for world welfare. The atmosphere surrounding such devotees is indeed sacred and they can hear divine sounds and perceive divine light in all 3 states of life viz. waking, dreaming and deep sleep.
Attaining the goal of spirituality via spiritual practices is a foregone conclusion and yet Gayatri devotion helps one attain it that much more speedily and greater ease. Any individual of the entire world can benefit by mentally latching on to the ?skirt? of Mother Gayatri. This benefit in turn benefits all world creatures in a positive way. In order to throw more light on the untold benefits (material and spiritual) of Gayatri meditation/worship our Guru Shriram Sharma Acharyaji has written this priceless e-book. We pray that entire world humanity reads this book so as to prosper both materially and spiritually and thus ultimately help create:
?A BEAUTIFUL BORDERLESS WORLD?
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AUTHOR: Shriram Sharma Acharya, founder of the International Gayatri Family, was a great Yogi, seer and incarnation of God who wrote volumes of scientific literature mainly on spiritual subjects for world welfare and peace.
For more scientific e-books visit: http://www.shriramsharma.com/ (GOOGLE PR 4)
KEYWORDS: Kundalini Yoga Gayatri e-books biography Guru world peace mind psyche god nerve subtle consciousness soul divine trance endocrine glands ESP Chakras plexus meditation concentration intellect prophecy thought thinking Cheiro Nostradamus Aurobindo bliss brain Vedas solar sun energy sacred pure sense organs Prana Avatar Upanishad light cell hypothalamus pituitary transformation futurist prediction serpent power life human ethics integrity character vagus Tantra Mooladhar atom neutron proton
DESCRIPTION: Free e-books on Future Scientific Religion, Gayatri Science & Kundalini Yoga correlated to Neurosciences-ESP, Endocrinology, Anatomy, Psychology & Sociology for 1) material & spiritual prosperity & 2) uniting the world peacefully as a family. Aim: A beautiful borderless world.
October 8, 2007
When was the last time you experienced that ’sense of wonder’ in your life?
You know the feeling I am talking about. Or, has it been so long you have simply forgotten?
Sense of wonder. . . when every fiber in your being soaks up your surroundings in the present moment and tingles with the wonder and joy of it all!
Recently I knowingly felt this sense of wonder. I was completely frozen in the moment, and in being so, I believe my consciousness was raised a tad bit.
I was sitting at my computer and in taking a moment to ponder on what I was writing, I casually glanced over at the door which leads to a screened porch. At the very moment I did this, my eyes caught the eyes of my adorable cat looking in from the other side through the clear plastic kitty door.
When he saw me look his way, his beautiful yellow eyes widened really big, seemingly with curiosity and delight! For several moments our eyes locked. It was though we connected at a soul level. I smiled and said to myself, ‘he is such a wonder’. And, for the first time in quite awhile I deeply felt that ’sense of wonder’ for the simple, yet ever so wondrous, gifts from our Universe!
I sat for awhile thinking about all the beauty in our Universe, all our natural gifts and how most of the time we tend to take it all for granted. I thought about how I rarely truly sense the wonder of it all.
You probably know what I am talking about.
We are so busy and so preoccupied with our little ego stuff. We rush here and there and rush through whatever we are doing no matter what it is or who we are with. Rarely do we capture the complete essence of it all, the meaning and importance. . . rarely do we hold that within our being in the moment.
Our thoughts are usually about something or someone of yesterday, or tomorrow.
It seems as we age and become more and more involved with the so called adult things of our world, we tend to lose that sense of newness for life, that sense of wonder. . . the joy and excitement of each moment.
We tend to get caught up in the ‘having and doing’, rather than the ‘being’.
It seems we become conditioned to things being a certain way and are not even open to the possibilities of newness. We are programmed to see everything as it was the day before, or how we want it to be tomorrow. . . and on and on. (yawn)
It is no wonder that we become bored with our silly selves, bored with those with whom we share life and bored with our stuff and our surroundings.
Our expectations are programmed within us, leaving no room for the wonder of how it really is and the possibilities of how it can BE. And, even though all this might be considered something good by us, it still lacks that sense of wonder which comes freshness of living in the moment.
However, on those rare occasions when we do take notice, this brings us into the present moment of life. . . into the knowing of what is important, into the knowing and feeling of just how beautiful and Divine this thing called life in all its many energy forms truly is right now.
There’s that ’sense of wonder’ about it all. And, for a few moments we realize that this very moment is truly all that exists!
It is in these present moments of wonder that we feel connected to all of life. We have respect and a feeling of sacredness for all that IS. . . in this moment. Our senses come alive, our energy level shoots sky high.
In these moments of a ’sense of wonder’ we actually wake up and feel alive and in tune, at one, with everyone and everything in our life.
I am grateful that my consciousness allowed me to take notice of my surroundings and to experience this sense of wonder. And, once again I have vowed to live my life in the moment and to always be open to and welcome the unexpected.
So, again I ask, when was the last time YOU felt this ’sense of wonder’ in your life?
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For over 15 years Charlsie has consciously been on (and off, on and off. . . well, you know!) the path to transformation. She is certified in all levels of Reiki and spends much of her time learning about and applying our numerous Universal Laws. For other related articles on reiki, healing, energy, manifestation, universal laws, (authentic life stuff) and quality recommended resources, visit Charlsie’s site at: http://www.manifestinguniverse.com
August 28, 2007
Advice is all over the place. The number of coaches and advisors, the sources of suggestions and information on life strategies, making changes, finding happiness are popping up by the hundreds - magazines, websites, newsletters, books. Everyone thinks that they have the answer, and everyone thinks that you need to hear about it.
I?m one of those people. I?m here with the audacity to tell you some things that I believe are true, and to try to provide some wisdom that you may find beneficial. But, I urge you, please don?t just swallow it whole. Everything that I, or anyone else, say is only going to be worthwhile to you if it passes muster with your own inner wisdom.
No matter how compelling, how logical the advice of others is, no matter how many experts are telling us what the right answers are, our own hearts are the most powerful, most accurate decision makers we have. Decisions and life paths that are wrong for us bring us dissatisfaction, discomfort, and frustration. They cause us to lose energy, and sometimes affect our health. They cause us to shut down, detach, and become less invested. On the other hand, choices and paths that are right for us give us energy. The challenges are invigorating and stimulate our creative juices. We feel relaxed, energetic, and connected with our creative flow.
I?d like to ask you to think for a moment about a time in your life when you were getting a lot of advice - about a job, a relationship, or something equally important. The advice may have come from your family, or a friend. You may have read books and magazine articles, or had a teacher or counselor who thought they knew what was best for you. I want you to remember how you felt. I?m guessing that you felt unsure and confused. Maybe you were angry. At the very least, you probably felt like you were losing perspective, and that your heart and your head were in conflict. You may have felt too guilty to not take everyone else?s advice, and made a bad decision. Or you may have wanted to rebel, and still made a bad decision. It could be that, the more confused and unsure you felt, the more you sought out the advice of others; but the more you listened to their advice, the more unsure you felt. Somewhere in that vicious cycle, your heart, and your inner wisdom, was getting lost.
Those who claim to have answers draw us in, since they appear to offer the very clarity and decisiveness that we are seeking. Those who love us want us to stay close, make them proud, or at least not embarrass them, so they tend to encourage us to make safe and predictable choices. People whose own lives have been changed for the better become evangelists, believing with all their heart that they need to get everyone to understand their point of view, and climb on the bandwagon. Experts have extensive knowledge, and are dedicated to their own perspective, wanting to sell you on their ideas and their brilliance. To be fair, most who give advice do it out of a genuine desire to benefit others. They are so enthusiastic about their own insights, and so certain of their own inner wisdom that they want to help you improve your life. And, as long as they are offering their ideas as just one of your many options, that?s great.
It?s up to all of us to maintain a healthy skepticism toward the promise of simple answers. We can and should be open to all the wisdom around us, but it is crucial that we keep only what resonates within us, and discard the rest. For most of life?s difficult questions, there is no absolute right answer. It is possible that any number of different paths would provide you with growth and happiness. Maybe the decision is difficult to make because we are presented with so many potentially right answers. If we assume that there is just one right answer, better than all the rest, we get stuck trying to figure out which one it is. If we look at our options from the perspective of good and bad, right or wrong, we just can?t decide.
The only way to choose well between two or more potentially right answers is to feel your way through the decision. It?s not about what?s right. It?s about what?s right for you. An important decision doesn?t end with the choice. You are making a commitment to your chosen path, and a promise to do all you can to make it work. What makes a choice the right answer for you is what you do with it after the decision has been made. Own your decision, and choose the direction that you can most readily put your commitment and your creative energy behind. If it doesn?t excite you, energize you, and motivate you toward the future, you?re not going to be able to invest enough of yourself to make it the right answer. When all answers have the potential to be right, no one else can tell you what to choose. You have to find the answer by looking deep within yourself, and asking your heart which answer makes it leap up and say, ?Yes!?
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Lynn Marlow is a psychologist and life coach who has been working with and trusted by individuals at every stage of life for the past 20 years.
Creativity is one of Lynn’s passions, and she expresses herself in many ways, in her writing, her garden, her website, and, most notably, in fused glass (http://www.marlowglassarts.com). Her work boldly reflects her colorful, playful, and dynamic spirit.
Lynn values connection with self, others, work, community, earth, and spirit. Her holistic approach to coaching flows from her deep appreciation for how the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical interconnect. Lynn believes that peace and happiness come from knowing yourself, feeling and expressing your emotional truth, having meaningful connections to people and activities, and moving through life with honesty, integrity, courage, and a sense of humor.
To learn more, or subscribe to her newsletter, visit her website at http://www.creativityunbound.com.
August 23, 2007
Life is just too short to live it reacting to each and every stimulus that happens to come our way. You are too smart to live anything but a positive and healthy life. When people talk about living one day at a time you need to say, ‘I am one of those people that lives life to the fullest each and every day. I can not wait to wake up in the morning to see what life has to offer on this new day.’
You really need to read this article. No it is not anything new. Guess what? There is nothing new under the sun. What ever you see… it was here yesterday and will be here tomorrow. This article is about you! It is about you taking charge of your life and making the most of it. I see so many miserable people each day. And I say to myself, ‘what in the world is making them so miserable? Why are they unhappy?’
In order to answer these questions and move on to the life that you deserve, you must realize that you can fall into the trap too! If you are like me and most people you are either in the trap or have been recently. The most important question is, how can you get out of the trap and live the life that you deserve.
First one must realize that you are responsible for your unhappiness. You must take the responsibility and quit trying to put the blame on someone else. Happiness is within and it is a choice. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be unhappy.
How Did You Fall Into The Trap?
Very likely you were having a normal happy day when suddenly something went wrong. Maybe you were at work and you found out that a co-worker has been talking about you. Maybe you were at home and the washer or dryer went out and you do not have the money to buy a new one. Maybe your child did not make the cheer leading squad. Obviously I could go on and on about many of lifes’ circumstances that we routinely face.
So What Is The Difference?
The difference is whether you fall into the trap or stay clear of it. If you REACT to the problem by looking for someone to either blame it on or take it out on, then you are falling into a pattern of life that is completely your choice. Each and every time you REACT negatively to lifes’ problem, you become more and more likely to stay in the trap. You are the one that decides that you will live your life as if you had no control what so ever and are merely a victim of circumstances.
Fight Back
Do not fall into the trap. Grow up and quit crying about life. Life IS what you make of it. You really can take control of your own life and live the happy and healthy life that you think you are being robbed of. But YOU have to RESPOND to life instead of REACTING to life. Your response must be pro-active. You must say,’What can I do to make this situation better?’
Let’s get real. What happened to you today? Did you get passed over for a promotion? You can decide to be miserable and blame your boss. You may say that he chose the other employee because of politics. Or you can be pro-active and try to determine what YOU can do to make sure you do not get passed over again. Maybe you could be more social with the administration. Maybe you need to go back to get more education. Maybe you just need to be patient and wait your turn. Maybe you need to do your very best with the position you now hold. If you choose to blame others and be reactive, you will start a pattern that will keep you digging deeper and deeper into a rut that causes you to be unhappy and stressed out.
If you are lucky enough to wake up in the morning, I challenge you to be a positive, pro-active, person. I challenge you to make it your responsibility to be happy and help others feel good about themselves. Wake up and determine your own happiness by choosing to be happy. Think about it… you woke up.
The rest of the day is up to you!
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Bob Roach Father of one and middle school teacher of literally thousands over the past thirty years. To find out more parenting tips write me at: rproach@yahoo.com
August 14, 2007
True happiness can be felt when we look inwards and and find those thinks that will continiously spark up our life! So lets start with the wise words of Nathaniel Branden: - ‘Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.’ Are you happy because you can impress others or because you impress yourself?
Look at the mirror, if you do not have a reason to smile at the person staring at you. You are likely not to find happiness elsewhere! Happiness is not like existence, it won?t just happen. We have to choose it and keep choosing it every day for it to be. It?s set off from within us and then transfer to our jobs, families, career, business or achievement and to other people. But amazingly many of us will run around looking for happiness with such breathless haste, that we breeze past it without knowing. ?If the eyes is patient and focused enough it will see the nose?-Yoruba proverb
Happiness does not depend on what is expected of you, it is more of impressing and loving yourself. You will find people who spend years in medical school to prove they are not losers or get married to prove they are responsible. Can you call that doing the right thing? Why on earth, wait for someone to tell you it?s time to be happy and live for yourself? If you are doing something or seeing someone at the moment, for any reason that is sincerely not for your own true happiness. You should stop right now! Please and please again take the next turning.
You can console yourself that your fat bank account makes you happy. Yes, it will for a while before you would need to start paying doctors and comedians for occasional happiness. Am sure you can?t be fooling yourself. Resound these words of Franklin D. Roosevelt when he said: ?Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.? Attaining that feeling of fulfilment should be goal. Chase the right things, at the right time and for the right reasons. Even the day knows when it?s time to hide and let the darkness of the night aid its next appearance. Remain in vogue, only when you should!
As a happy fellow you don?t need to bother much about whether life is fair or not, you need to flow with it and enjoy the scenery when on a detour. As Bill Cosby said ?you can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humour in anything - even poverty - you can survive it.? SO why are you lounging in a world that is not yours? Replay the good thought, the happy days, the success you have achieved! Learn to write the bad things that happen to you in sand, and good things in marble.
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It’s simply means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. You have shunned all reasons to be limited by any limitation or frustrated by any for form of frustration. You have surrounded yourself with pleasant thoughts, joyful goals and nice happenings. Living a life that you deserve!
So take that risk, make a change and break away. If you doubt me or think it is not possible, give it a try with an open mind . That ways would be pleased or to at least prove me wrong
(Has you might noticed i love writing using quotation to spice up my message. Basically ‘I quote others only in order the better to express myself.? Michel de Montaigne. Visit www.mindjuicezine.com for more!)
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